Old traditions are hard to let go of, yet they are acute reminders of loss. One tradition Larry, Landon and I shared was buying Christmas ornaments. We traveled frequently and on every vacation we bought an ornament as a reminder of our special vacation together. Now that I have lost Larry and Landon, those ornaments are even more priceless. I also bought Landon a special ornament each December to commemorate that year of his life. One year he was all about Speed Racer. He was Speed Racer for Halloween, we watched the movie almost every day, he wanted to be Speed Racer when he grew up. That year he has a special Speed Racer Mach 5 ornament. I planned to give him all of his ornaments one day when he started his own family. Collecting ornaments is a tradition I have had to let go of. Maybe forever, maybe just temporarily. I still travel, but it just doesn’t seem right to buy an ornament. I cannot bring myself to decorate a tree, or my house, or unwrap the ornaments. These ornaments spark memories of times we shared on vacation. I suspect that one day I will open the boxes of all those precious ornaments and memories and cry all over again, but for now I have new traditions.
It wasn’t long after they died and I was picking up a bottle of wine to hang out with one of my sisters and I ran across a bottle of Landon wine. The owner is a man named Robert Landon who lives in Dallas where there are three tasting rooms. Every Christmas since, my mom, sister and I pick a day and go drink Landon wine in memory of my Landon. It’s a new three year old holiday tradition that I look forward to each year.
Larry traveled a lot with work. He was often gone for weeks at a time. The man loved Coca Cola. It was his vice, some might say. When he was away on a work trip, Landon and I would drink a Coke together knowing Daddy (Larry) was having a Coke too. Today, Larry’s girls and I still share a Coke and a memory in honor of Larry. We each have Coke bottles from Larry’s collection and now have new Coke bottles with their names on them. It is our special new tradition and way to honor their memory.
Life is different without your loved ones. It’s not only ok but sometimes necessary to give up some old traditions and start new ones. You will know which ones when the time is right. There are no rules and you can pick up those old traditions any time you want. The bottom line is that this is part of the healing. Some traditions are just too painful to engage in at this time of your journey. It doesn’t mean you will never enjoy that tradition gain. In the mean time, its important to give yourself some grace and begin some new traditions. It doesn’t matter how big or small. It doesn’t matter if you share this tradition with other or keep it private. It’s just important the you keep living and healing
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
