Baggage

In the last month I’ve had two distinct converstions about “baggage”. In both instances I recalled a particular negative incident. It was just about 7 months after the plane accident in which Larry and Landon had died and I had just recently started dating. The man I was seeing made a comment to me that he wasn’t sure I was ready to move on because I had so much baggage. I was shocked, but needless to say, that relationship ended. I kept recalling that conversation and went back and forth between mad and hurt. How dare him call my circumstances, my life, my history “baggage”.

The reality is that when we hear the term baggage we often conjure up images of garbage. Why is that? I knew the man I was dating was certainly making a negative comment. Why don’t we conjure up images of designer handbags and expensive designer luggage? It’s becuase society uses the term “baggage” negatively. The urban dictionary defines baggage as “the crap people go into relationships with. ie, kids, addictions, diseases”. There are so many things wrong with this statement, but it’s exactly how society uses the word.

The truth is that those of us with “baggage” really have to reframe how we look at our “stuff”. It’s the relationships, experiences, kids, step-kids, grandbabies, hurt, laughter, loves etc… that really help shape us into the beautiful individuals we are today. It’s not to say that we don’t all have some garbage that needs to be tossed out, but our past will always help shape our future. This is especially true with grief. We don’t stop loving and sharing those experiences just because our loved one isn’t here. I challenge use to reframe your thinking about both your own baggage and other peoples baggage.

I choose to embrace my priceless designer baggage. It was hand crafted especially for me. It’s full of beautiful memories, laughter, heartache, tears, adventures around the world, unimaginable experiences, children, two beautiful step-daughters, 3 beautiful grandchildren, and lots of love wrapped up in countless relationships. I hope to keep filling my bags and one day share everything in them with someone else who has bags full of life, love and expereinces.

Thank you Leslie for reminding me that I don’t carry garbage but instead coveted designer luggage.

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