Last night I spent hours going through boxes and boxes of old photographs. Of course most of the photos were of Landon and some of Larry and Landon together (I was usually the one behind the camera). Larry used to give me a hard time about the “Landon shrine” I had in the house. I’m now downsizing and need to get rid of all of those frames. What should have taken about an hour ended up being an all evening event complete with lots of tears, a few breaks just so I could catch my breath, and a bottle of wine.
So one by one I would pick up a photo, remove the picture from the frame and then reminisce. Actually, I spent hours and hours crying. I felt such pain with each memory. Not because of the memory itself but because of the loss. With each memory, I recalled the feeling of that moment and then grieved that I would never have that feeling again. I spent hours grieving the loss of love, the loss of connection, the loss of dependence, the loss of my motherhood, and the loss of part of my heart. I hadn’t cried like that in quite a while.
I often tell people to cherish the memories. Quite honestly I often tell myself that very same thing. After all, isn’t that all we have left. It’s easy to think that all I have is past memories when it comes to Larry and Landon. It’s easy to think of my future as being without them. BUT… That is really a narrow earthly perspective. If I truly have HOPE and faith in God’s promises, memories aren’t the only thing I have. If I’m truly future focused, Heavenly focused, then I know that this is not the end. I do have a future where there will be no grief and God will wipe away every tear. I have an eternal heavenly home where they too will reside.
However, we are human. Our limited brains just can’t fathom the reality of Heaven, its pure joy and all eternity. It’s just one more thing that my brain has to constantly remind my heart and my heart has to just hold onto my faith. No matter your pain or your loss, keep telling your heart to stay future and Heavenly focused.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to spring of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Revelation 7:17
He will swallow up death forever. The sovereign Lord will wipe away the tear from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. The lord has spoken. Isaiah 25:8
We have this HOPE that is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19
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