Archives for October 2020

I read a social media post this morning that said, “Dear God, please protect me from the people I love who don’t really love me.”   As I scrolled I’m thinking how awful, yet I’ve found myself praying this actual prayer lately.  I love people so big and would do literally anything for my friends and family; I would gladly literally lay down my life for most anyone I know.  Yet that leads to a lot of heartache when friends and people you love and care for hurt you, break trust, break your heart, betray you and don’t treat you the same.  

If you have lost a loved one, you know first hand the fragility of our hearts.  After losing Larry and Landon I’ve struggled even more with protecting my own heart.  The reality is that people are selfish and they will often do anything for a little self gratification, even if it risks hurting someone they supposedly love.  How do we with such fragile hearts protect ourselves?  My natural instinct is to build walls and not put my heart out there.  It wasn’t so long ago a friend broke my heart and violated a lot of trust.  My response has been: people lie, people are selfish, people can’t be trusted, never again will I give a part of myself or my heart to someone, never again will I love like that.  Although my emotional response seems a little dramatic, it is necessary to protect fragile hearts.  What is the right way? 

This morning my pastor was speaking on the fruits of the spirit.  He talked about the first fruit of the spirit being love.  Throughout the Bible God commands us to love our God and to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Living a spirit filled life means loving others with all of my heart.  How do I truly unselfishly love others the way I want to be loved and protect my heart?  How do I continue to love others in a way God calls me to love and not risk my heart being broken over and over again?  These are the questions I’ve been struggling with and I asked myself again this morning.  I began to think about the armor of God and it’s protection.  

As I read, I was reminded that we don’t wrestle with people, the fight is really against evil and satan.  Satan indeed wants my heart broken and he wants me to struggle with emotional pain, hurt and suffering. He wants me to build walls, shut out people, get frustrated and harden my heart.  He wants me to miss the blessing of true love.  Satan wants me to numb my heart so I only search for selfish satisfaction.  Sadly, Satan uses those closest to me to hurt me.  He uses my friends to lie, betray, and hurt me.  He uses my love against me every chance he gets.  He uses our human selfishness to hurt others.  

The good news is that God does offer a solution.  He says we should put on the whole armour of God to be able to withstand evil.  He says we should arm ourselves with truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Spirit, God’s word and prayer.  I can’t be the only one who continuously struggles to love yet protect my heart.  Where do you find yourself in this dilemma?  Is your heart hardened? Are you building walls of protection?  Have you quit loving others?  Have you been hurting your friends and loved ones in an effort to protect your own heart?  

The best news is that we start each day with new mercies.  God’s forgiveness is good.  There is no condemnation for those who love him.  Whether you need to guard your heart a little differently and put on the armor of God, or break down the walls you have built around your heart, or ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt, I think we can all do a better job of loving our neighbor as ourselves.  

Jesus replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.”  And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 22: 37-39

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6: 13-18

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1

It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning:  Great is thy faithfulness.  Lamentations 3: 22-23

I often forget that true love is steadfast, especially God’s love. His love is loyal, faithful, committed, firm and unwavering. Sometimes in God’s steadfast love he tells us to wait. Waiting is hard for me. I’ve never been a patient person. However, I know that in the waiting we can look forward with expectancy and anticipation and be ready and available for God’s blessings to come or we can become frustrated, disapointed and hopeless and get in the way of God’s plan. It’s in the waiting that we grow.

There are things that have been on my consistent prayers list for a while. I have been faithful to God and consistently circled them in prayer. However, in my grief, I sometimes think life is not fair. After all I have been through I shouldn’t have to wait. I want and need answers now. Then instead of resting on God’s steadfast love that he will provide and bless, I become frustrated that the answers haven’t been provided and start seeking for myself. When I do this, I screw up 100% of the time. Without fail I make a mess of life.

What is it you have been asking God for? Are you waiting patiently with anticipation or getting frustrated that the answers haven’t come. What I KNOW is that when God provides, it is a true gift that just will just fall into place and your cup will run over with His love and blessings. If the “gift” is one that you are having to beg for, steal from others, bribe, compromise your values, etc… it’s not one of God’s gifts. It’s a sure sign you need to step back, trust that God has heard you and wait. If we can learn to embrace waiting and hear God’s whisper of “not yet”, we may find blessings of new mercies each day.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him”. The lord is good to those whose HOPE is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3: 22-26

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalms 27: 14

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7: 7-11

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens’ your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Psalms 57:10

Those of you who know me, know I talk a lot about scuba diving.  It’s not just a hobby, a sport, a retirement activity.  It’s my peaceful place of meditation.  I decided I really needed to try and put into words all that happens when I dive.  

After losing Larry and Landon I struggled to find peace.  Actually, let me say I still struggle.  It’s a daily choice to live in peace.  But finding the places that allows me to live in and experience that tranquility has been a journey.  What I discovered within just a few weeks was that nature is where I felt closest to God, peace and my boys.  Being outside is where I could begin to let go of some of my fears, anxiety and grief.  However, I finally truly felt I had found absolute peace and tranquility the first time I descended beneath the surface of the water.  

There is no doubt that there is a little build up to the dive.  You plan, prep, and get your gear ready.  Like anticipating any activity, you know it’s coming, you can’t wait, but you never quite anticipate just how joyous it will be.  The boat ride out to the reef is generally very relaxing and if possible I begin to get my mind ready.  Once there I suit up, jump in the water and wait for the Divemaster to say, “Let’s go down”.  You don’t know this but I smile every time I hear those words.  I quickly release the air from my BCD, buoyancy control jacket you wear, and begin my descent.  

From the moment my ears fall below the surface I’m at peace.  Immediately, all noise is shut out.  I can hear only my own breath.  I often shut my eyes those first few moments as I equalize my ears and focus on my steady breathing.  Slowly my descent relaxes every fiber of my body.  The weightlessness allows my muscles to relax, especially those in my neck and shoulders where I carry every bit of stress and anxiety.  After less than a minute my eyes open and I’m totally in the moment.  I take long deep breaths in and slowly release every worry, every care, every anxiety and every fear (at least for the next 60-75 minutes).  Diving in Cozumel is one of my favorites because of the current. I can literally just be still and take it all in.  The world below the surface is mostly unscathed by the world above.  There are no politics, no electronics, no divisiveness, no hate, no voices, no distractions, no noise; only the sound of my own breath and the bubbles as I exhale.  I experience a part of creation that many never see.  The world below the surface moves with the ebb and flow of the ocean all in perfect harmony.  I have no task or chore when under the water; I’m simply an observer.  The colors are spectacular, the abundant life is exhilarating, the reef in contrast to the deep blue is just breathtaking.  Like a sunset, I just can’t get enough of the view.  I don’t think under the water, I’m sure that is part of why it’s so peaceful.  I only concentrate on the beautiful creation, my breathing, the feeling of weightlessness and letting go.  Throughout the dive I occasionally snap a photo to share with those who never get to experience life below.  I regularly check my dive watch and my air pressure and in the words of Dorie, “just keep swimming” and soaking in the warm salty water, the view, the tranquility of it all. 

I used to begin to get a little anxious when time to ascend.  I’m not sure what all of that was about, maybe anxiety of a safety stop or sad the dive was ending.  Anyways, I’ve just now, in the last 15 dives really, found my peace in the ascension and safety stop.  If you were to see me at the safety stop, it looks like I’m dialed into deep concentration staring at my computer as it counts down.  I actually take those last 5 minutes and simply thank God for the opportunity.  I quit observing and I’m simply still physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I find praise in the moment, I reminisce about all I’ve encountered, I thank God I am here and have survived such tragedy, I continue to listen to my breath and meditate as I cherish every last second under water.  

Webster’s dictionary says peace is a state of tranquility or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.  The Bible says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27.  

No matter where you are in life, it’s important to have true peace.  Find the place that allows you freedom from all the distractions of the world.  Discover what activity and where you allow yourself to release all of the anxiety and worry.  Find your tranquility!