We Have This Hope

Hebrews 6:19

Archives for April 2022

How do I heal?

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When people ask me how I have healed or survived, FAITH and HOPE are the obvious answer. However, as I reflect, I always come back to these FACTs about healing.

Focus – It’s imperative to keep a Heavenly eternal focus. Without that HOPE, that assurance that life goes on beyond this world, healing would be near impossible. It’s sometimes hard for my heart to remember this. I have to remind my heart often as I miss both Larry and Landon so much. Knowing I get to see them again, all of us healed, spending eternity praising our Heavenly Father is how I survive, it’s how I heal, it’s how I keep going.

Action – I know the things that make me healthy and I commit to action each day. I often fail but because the sun rises again and because of grace,I get to start new tomorrow. I make sure that every single day I read, meditate, pray, move, take vitamins, connect with people and live life. Every single day I set out to say yes! I’ve learned the hard way that there are no guarantees for tomorrow, take action today.

Choice – I’ve said this before, but deciding to heal and be healthy is absolutely a choice. It’s not easy and it takes constant commitment. There is a lot of action that goes along with that choice, but deciding to heal from grief is a choice each and every person has to make. I make this choice often. I choose again and again to live a life of healing. I choose to take action. I choose to keep Heavenly focused.

Time – Healing takes time, a lot of time. It’s been almost 8 years since I lost my husband of 19 years and only child and I’m still healing. I still cry often, I have hard days, I have to sit with my grief lean into it. I’m still learning to navigate holidays and celebrations. Because I loved big, my grief is big. Because my love is eternal, so is my grief. Although my heart and mind can heal, although I can live life, I still miss them and my grief is a permanent part of who I am today. Time doesn’t heal the wounds, time just makes the grief manageable when I stay focused, take action, and keep making the choice!

It’s Here!

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Hope Abides: My Journey Through Grief has been published. Please buy a copy for yourself and everyone you love. If you havne’t been touched by grief, you will.

August 15, 2014 I received a phone call that would forever change my life.  My husband of 19 years, Larry, and only child, 9 year old Landon, had just died in a plane crash.  This is my survival story.  I say survival because at times I thought I would die of a broken heart.  Although, this story is the raw, vulnerable truth of grief; my survival is anchored in hope and faith that was shaken to its core.  However, God met me right where I was and walked with me on the most difficult and burdensome journey of my life.  My prayer is that my story helps pave the path of others who are on this difficult journey of surviving grief. 

Hope Abides: My Jounrey Through Grief can be purchased through Amazon or Kharis Publishing.

Healing: It’s a Choice

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To say I have struggled with mental health and healing over these past 8 years is an understatement. There were months when the tears wouldn’t stop, days I didn’t want to get out of bed, times when I didn’t want to go on, and moments when I thought the pain would never end. It has sometimes felt as if I’m living in a dark cave and can only occasionally see glimpses of light through the dark. However, I know that healing is possible. I believe 100% that healing is a choice and takes intentional effort.

Choice – It’s certainly easy to fall victim to our circumstances. No one would have blamed me if I had curled up in a ball and died after losing my husband of 19 years and only child. It is a choice, in fact it’s a daily choice to be healthy. I have to choose every day to get out of bed, think positively, put life in perspective, and choose life. It’s even a choice to go see a doctor and ask for help if needed. Making a choice to be mentally healthy and heal doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle, it just means that I choose not to get stuck there.

Intentionality – Just like physical health, mental health and healing takes daily intentional effort. I know the things that drag me down into despair. I also know what perpetuates good mental health and healing. For me, this means getting outside in nature, reading inspirational messages, prayer and meditation, taking supplements, engaging with other people, and continuing to serve others.

If you are struggling to heal from grief, divorce, depression, or any number of life’s circumstances, decide today you want healing. If living a life of peace is what you desire, I urge you to

  • Make a choice to start healing – If you need, make a list of things you know contribute to your good mental health and healing.
  • Be intentional about doing those things every day. I get outside every single day. I read, pray and meditate every single day. I check in and connect with a friend or family every single day. I take good mental health supplements every single day.
  • Lose yourself in the service of others. I have said this many times but there has been no greater joy in my healing than the gift of service to others. When we take our focus off of ourselves, our problems, our grief, our world and focus on helping others, something miraculous and extraordinary happens. Not only do we begin to put everything in perspective but as we give a piece of ourselves, that void is filled. It’s filled with love, peace, and healing.
  • Give yourself grace when you have rough days. Almost 8 years later, grief can hit me like a tsunami out of nowhere. There are also days where I feel it looming like a storm just off in the distance. I always allow myself to grieve, to sit with all of those emotions, and to lean into grief. Healing doesn’t mean I don’t grieve. Healing means I don’t get stuck in my grief. I still make the choice to be intentional about healing even when those tough days come.

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