Healing: It’s a Choice

To say I have struggled with mental health and healing over these past 8 years is an understatement. There were months when the tears wouldn’t stop, days I didn’t want to get out of bed, times when I didn’t want to go on, and moments when I thought the pain would never end. It has sometimes felt as if I’m living in a dark cave and can only occasionally see glimpses of light through the dark. However, I know that healing is possible. I believe 100% that healing is a choice and takes intentional effort.

Choice – It’s certainly easy to fall victim to our circumstances. No one would have blamed me if I had curled up in a ball and died after losing my husband of 19 years and only child. It is a choice, in fact it’s a daily choice to be healthy. I have to choose every day to get out of bed, think positively, put life in perspective, and choose life. It’s even a choice to go see a doctor and ask for help if needed. Making a choice to be mentally healthy and heal doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle, it just means that I choose not to get stuck there.

Intentionality – Just like physical health, mental health and healing takes daily intentional effort. I know the things that drag me down into despair. I also know what perpetuates good mental health and healing. For me, this means getting outside in nature, reading inspirational messages, prayer and meditation, taking supplements, engaging with other people, and continuing to serve others.

If you are struggling to heal from grief, divorce, depression, or any number of life’s circumstances, decide today you want healing. If living a life of peace is what you desire, I urge you to

• Make a choice to start healing – If you need, make a list of things you know contribute to your good mental health and healing.
• Be intentional about doing those things every day. I get outside every single day. I read, pray and meditate every single day. I check in and connect with a friend or family every single day. I take good mental health supplements every single day.
• Lose yourself in the service of others. I have said this many times but there has been no greater joy in my healing than the gift of service to others. When we take our focus off of ourselves, our problems, our grief, our world and focus on helping others, something miraculous and extraordinary happens. Not only do we begin to put everything in perspective but as we give a piece of ourselves, that void is filled. It’s filled with love, peace, and healing.
• Give yourself grace when you have rough days. Almost 8 years later, grief can hit me like a tsunami out of nowhere. There are also days where I feel it looming like a storm just off in the distance. I always allow myself to grieve, to sit with all of those emotions, and to lean into grief. Healing doesn’t mean I don’t grieve. Healing means I don’t get stuck in my grief. I still make the choice to be intentional about healing even when those tough days come.

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