“We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” Author Unknown.
A friend recently shared this message with me. I had never really thought about relationships that way. However, I’ve recently come to understand that God really does bring people into our lives for just a season. I was recently studying the book of Job and read, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The lord gave and the lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21 I began to explore the idea that God gives and takes away relationships.
Why is it that everyone God bring into our lives is not for a lifetime? My best understanding…. He has something to teach us through the relationship. I remember a particular short relationship just about a year after Larry died. It was the first relationship I would engage in and was feeling guilty. God used that relationship to show me it was okay to have feelings for another and love again. I was hesistant and guarded and after experiencing so much pain, wasn’t sure if I could be vulnerable again. God taught me that loving another comes with risks and ultimately with risks comes an opennes to being heart broken.
God brings people in and out of our lives to teach us, grow us, sharpen us, and challenge us. Through my own tragedy, I experienced that there were friends who couldn’t handle my grief. As awful as that sounds, it was too uncomfortable for them to engage with me and my pain. There were others whom God strategically placed in my life to help me deal with loss and ultimately taught me how to heal.
I remember one particular day. I was truly at the end of my rope. I had lost all HOPE. I simply didn’t want to continue life wihtout my loved ones. That particular day God placed a colleague in my path. She shared these words, “I’m not sure if you know, but I lost my son. Life is going to be really tough. You can do this without God or with Him. Its much easier to heal if you will run to Him and let Him carry you along this Journey.” Those words literally saved my life that day. I consider her an angel. We don’t spend any significant time together, we don’t talk regularly, in fact we don’t have much of a relationship, but I do know she was sent by God that day with those words.
I have a really close girlfriend who has been through unimaginable pain, loss and suffering. After losing my husband and son, she spent a significant amount of time by my side. She wasn’t afraid to question my grief or to challenge me. At the same time, she was the most sympathetic and empathetic friend because she had experience so much tragedy and loss herself. She ultimately taught me how to heal. She never allowed me wallow and feel sorry for myself. She encouraged me, told me I could (do whatever it is I needed to do), and she guided me through difficult paths. One night she was sitting with me talking and she commented that she finally realized why she had endured such tragedy and loss. She said that she knew God was preparing her to walk beside me on this journey. Wow, none of us signed up for that kid of learning and teaching.
As I look back on life I reminisce about all of the past relationships that have come and gone. I can look back and see all that I’ve learned about life and myself, even those relationships I wish I could forget. Through relationships I’ve learned that to be content, to prioritize, put God first, put others before myself, to love, to laugh, to hurt, to cry, to be broken and to heal.
What have your relationships taught you? How, will God use you in a season for someone else?
“Certain people enter out life at the perfect time, for the most beautiful reasons, and you know right away that it’s a gift from God.” Brigitte Nicole
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plan and a time to uproon,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
