I awoke this morning crying and dreaming of Landon. This is something I rarely do. I think its God’s way of allowing rest and protecting me from heartache. These past several weeks I’ve dreaded the arrival of Mother’s Day as it is an acute reminder of my loss. As parents who have lost children, Mother’s/Father’s Day are two holidays we feel coming like an impending hurricane. We know it’s there swirling over the water, gaining strength, threatening to come tear us apart and destroy.
Early this Mother’s Day morning God allowed me to me to see Landon in one of those dreams. In this short dream, the roles were reversed and I had died instead of my child. I saw him at home in his room putting together a memory book/journal. In this journal he had pictures and had written down stories/memories. On the last page it said, “To be continued… Mom beat me to the final level”. Landon knew God, his love and all about eternity. In his youthful mind he wold have related this life to a video game and the final level is Heaven. His mom just made it there before him. He too would get there one day and we would continue our time together.
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES… I often have to remind myself, this is not the end. This is just one blip in all eternity, just a short stop before reaching the final level. Landon has just made it to the final level before me.
I’ve read a lot about Heaven since losing them. I’ve wondered what its like. What will our relationships be like? Who will we live with? What will love look like? None of that really matters. What I do know, based on reading a lot of God’s word, is that none of us can imagine the love, peace and beauty rejoicing with our Heavenly Father.
I also know God talks often in His Word about children. He loves them, watches over them and protects them. They are precious in his sight. Throughout the Bible God mentions children, their faith, their hearts, their ability to love, their innocence. I know that part of what makes Heaven perfect is that it will be filled with children.
My son is one of those eternal children. I imagine right now there is a beautiful Christian mom, who has already made it to the final level, there to help him and guide him. One day, all of us faithful moms left here on earth have the opportunity to be Forever Heavenly Moms. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in his shall not perish but have eternal life”. John 3:16
Remember, God created us as eternal beings to live in eternity with him. I’m an eternal mom, I have an eternal child. We just have to wait a while, as out little ones have just beaten us to the final level.
“And He took the children in His arms, placed His hands on them and blessed them.” Mark 10:16
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven tougher in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139: 13-16
“God bless the Mother who has lost a child…Heal her hurting aching heart, and just hold her for a while… God give the Mother peace whose Child you’ve called away… And give her the joy in knowing… They will reunite someday…. ” Anonymous, Shared by my friend Lisa this Mother’s Day morning.
Judy says
So true there are many of us.
Colette Read says
God bless you on Mother’s Day and all the momma’s who have lost a baby!
Debbie says
My heart aches for you my friend! I love you!! I’m so glad you have your faith to lean on. Beautifully written once again.
Cheree says
What beautiful words from a wise woman. Thank you for always sharing your heart so that you can help others find comfort in knowing that this is not the end. I love you and look forward to seeing Landon again in heaven as well as his sibling and cousin who were taken before we could meet them.